neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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