im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
