well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
