If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
