Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize