Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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