so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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