just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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