Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize