I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Four minutes until I can fart!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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