The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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