Fine. I'll sleep in my office
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
