I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
