it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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