I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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