Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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