somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
