so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
