it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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