ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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