I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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