Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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