After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
