I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
