wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Floor bacon is actually really good
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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