Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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