The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
