Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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