Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
