Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
