Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
