He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
