Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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