I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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