i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
try to milk me bitch
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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