she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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