watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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