I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize