I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize