Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
