My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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