So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize