my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
