I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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