He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
