talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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