I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize