i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
