glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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