Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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