literally had 100 drinks last night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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