I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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