At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
