The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
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I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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