Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need a beard to bite.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
