Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
