i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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