yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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