check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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