Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
