I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
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just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
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I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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