making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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