Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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