be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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