WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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